Thoughts Deserving Little or No Attention

Thanks to Uncle Buck’s bathroom reader, if you have a spastic colon, you can soon earn a degree in trivia. Uncle Buck knows all and has written a library of books to share his knowledge.
His classroom is never crowded and there is always sitting room. You are transported into a world of thing you never knew, or needed to know. You can wow your friends with facts that people with health bathroom habits will never read.
However I still have a few questions unanswered questions.
Why do men grow long eyebrows? I find myself expecting quail to take flight from them.
Why do short women attract tall men and leave the short ones for me?
Heavenly Father only asks for 10%. Why does the government need more?
Why is tipping 10% not enough?
Why is throwing a ball through a hoop more valued, and highly paid, than teaching children?
Why is my food storage on my hips and not in my pantry?
Why does scratching help an itch?

Uncle Buck can you shed some light on these mysteries?